tripe!

Reading that last post makes life sound so trivial. So "the sun is shining and rainbows everywhere" , how trite. Have you ever had a disappointment so deep that you physically threw up? Ever thought you shouldn't have got your hopes up? Ever thought that YES! it was maybe finally your turn to be picked first? Ever thought why bother? I tend not to think that way..... or if I do i tend to internalize it and paste smile on my face and carry on skipping. Today's been a hard day to skip over. Having put my hopes into one thing and then it falling through...its alot to bear. I always seem to be waiting.. , maybe I should just grow up. Forgive and forget. The first is easier than the last, while I am at it maybe I should just learn to forgive myself. I mean, I'm the one who left, I made my bed. I have to lie in it. I never knew it would be this hard. famous last words eh? Definition of family; a great big mexican hooohaaa... not a stiff upper lip.

to the hoohaaa's .. Love you & missing you